Whadya know, another catch-up!

Hey look at that! I'm catching up again.

Day 25, Saturday: Something someone told you about yourself that you'll never forget (good or bad)

Growing up my dad would find a time after a special event to whisper in my ear,  "I'm so proud of you." He told me that the day I made my first state swim time cut and bawled because my mother missed it. He told me that over the phone when I got my first college acceptance letter. He told me that both days after meeting his grandsons for the first time. He told me that, chocking back tears the moment before we walked down the aisle.

Needless to say he said it a lot. It's a very simple sentence without a lot of detail. But every now and then I just remind myself that while I may be totally down on myself I have one guy, a man of little words, who reminds me he's proud of me.

Day 27, Monday: A letter to your readers
I have readers?!?! I absolutely love the idea that someone out there besides my husband (occasionally) is reading this. I can not thank you enough for stopping by! Thanks for taking some time to read my blog that is often neglected. I greatly appreciate it! But I'm also fine in knowing that this is more like a private journal that's not really so private. 

Day 29, Wednesday: Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories. 

1. When I saw this topic, this song immediately popped into my head- "Leather and Lace"

This was our first song. The part that gives me goosebumps is that we were really undecided about a song, we just couldn't narrow it down. Then one morning in the car this song came on, I knew it was it and started digging for my phone, which started ringing. The Man was calling me because he was listening to the same song and thought it would work! It was fate!

2. Which leads to this song-"Pachelbel's Canon in D"

A super popular wedding march, but hearing this and seeing the Man on that day made every nerve calm and this sense of everything in that moment being absolutely perfect!

3. This was the first song that I heard from Mumford and Sons. This version is amazing, so much feeling!

4. I know its over played, but my class has rocked out to this song this year. We rock out to it in the car, at home, I listen to it while I run- it's just fun!

5. This one I just love.

Day 30, Thursday: React to this term: Letting Go

I MUST do it more. Let go of the crap and push it all away and soak in the good! Anything more than that is too much. 

Another catch-up

So, I'm behind! School is winding down which means meetings are adding up and lots of activities are getting planned. I'm just trying to stay on top of everything and unfortunately the blog is almost always left behind so this nasty cold weather has provided me time to catch up on writing my blog and reading all my favorite blogs too!So here we go- catch up time!

Day 21, Tuesday: A list of links to your favorite posts in your archives
Our wedding day was by far one of my favorite days!

Meet Tucker post- he's my guy and cracks us up!

Meet Ryker post- From start to now, its been captured

Day 22, Wednesday: Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. (a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something your husband or roommate or neighbor or boss does that really ticks you off)

What's with people not being accountable for themselves any more? It's so easy to blame others rather than just say I screwed up or I don't know. It's almost like people can't be wrong anymore or make mistakes. Why is that?

You screwed up, okay, learn from it, own up to it- MOVE ON! Don't blame other people. I hate (I try not to use that word) how much people blame other in education. Parents blame teachers, teachers blame parents, we blame administrators. It's a whole cycle. Okay, done!

Day 24, Friday: Your top 3 worst traits

1. Impatient- I hate waiting for things. Good or bad, I just want them to happen. Ordering things in the mail seems to take ages. I don't sit well, I need to talk to someone, fidget, walk around, or play with phone, anything to take my mind of waiting. I'm just as bad as my kids, so you can bet my class is the one doing something random in an audience rather than sitting their being rowdy. 

2. Minor ADHD- I'm great at starting things but getting distracted by other things. I'm guilty of folding laundry then organizing stuff in the basement, which reminds me I have something upstairs to organize, mean while laundry waits. The other day in class in the middle of teaching a guy ran by my window and I totally lost my track of thought. I promise we still finished the lesson. 

3. Over thinker, I tend to over think situations. A lot. I worry about how my decisions effect others to the point where I change my decisions. Luckily, the Man has learned this about me and has really supported me and pushed me just be myself. 

Day 20

Get real. Share something you're struggling its right now.

Failure is a huge fear of mine. I set crazy expectations for myself and assume people have super high expectations for me. I'm a "people pleaser", Hi, I'm Cali and I'm a "pleaser."

I worry a lot that I'm not doing enough. That I'm not giving enough attention to the boys or to the Man. That I'm not meeting all the needs of my students, that my team mates think I don't contribute enough. It's this constant mind game. I've gotten a little better at just realizing I can't make everyone happy but even then I hate  the idea that I caused someone to have a bad day.

I think it's also hard in teaching with having so many expectations and high standards. I want my students to learn but also enjoy school. I want my students to still be kids, to do the little projects I can still remember for when I was younger, but I want to keep my job and show everyone how bright they are.

When I get caught up with school I worry that the boys don't get the love they need. That I'm not using my time with Tucker to help him learn. And Ryker is growing so fast I hate that I could miss something. Then my first man, The Man, who luckily knows my passions but I still want him to know my passion for him.

I try to focus more on my strengths and not on my weaknesses. I try to let go of the doubt. I try, and that matters most.

Day 18

Day 18, Saturday: Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.

I remember so many little events that I'll forever cherish when I was little but nothing that I could go into huge detail about or remember vividly. I remember that we had life explaining conversations in the car all the time, I learned a lot on the way to school, but they're all kind of jumbled together, I couldn't even tell you how old I was. 

I do remember the moment when I first really realized how cruel kids and even adults could be. I was in middle school, which was a time that I would never want to live again. Ironic, since I've spent my teaching career teaching at the same level. Our school was very cliquey. Teachers and parents all fed into it. There were moments when kids were getting picked on or treated poorly that at the time I figured must be fine if the teachers weren't saying anything that I now know were forms of bullying and if similar things happened today teachers would have been in major trouble for ignoring or adding to it. 

Eighth grade was the worst of the two years. At that point groups had been formed and the "have" and "have nots" were separated, I didn't have the most fashionable clothes and I was more of a teacher's pet and do-gooder. I was made fun of and teased by girls who had been my best friends barely a year before. Even a close family friends daughter was in on it and I can still remember my mom talking to her mom telling her to back off. At which point she looked at me and said, "I'm sure it's not that bad, you don't really mind do you?" Thank God I had a mom who stuck up for me and wasn't about to allow it to continue. 

One day after school my mom picked me up and I got in the car and just sobbed. I hated school, on the way to the car one of the kids even yelled something about my haircut and the teacher, Mr. Sutton (he luckily quit teaching before I graduated high school) laughed right along with him. My mom called the school principal and demanded something to change. That enough parents were aware of what was going on and the mistreatment to certain students. That her job as a principal was to help students and make them feel safe and cared for in the building. My mom has always had a voice and strength to stand up for what's right (for the most part). 

I know a couple of kids were talked to and there was less name calling and teasing for a lot of us, but it was more realizing that my mom was always there for me. I had one teacher, an English teacher, that stopped me the Friday of that same week. She gave me a hug and told me I was brave and a wonderful student. I couldn't believe it, the girl who didn't say anything was brave. It still made me feel better and it was another moment that made me want to become a teacher. 

Day 14

Day 14, Tuesday: Ten things that make you really happy

In no particular order. I'm not going to include my family as they are a given! 

1. My planner!

I love Erin Condren planners. They're aren't for everyone and they are pricey- I always wait for a Groupon or % off. They work great for school and our family all in one. 

2. School supply shopping. Hello, I'm a teacher! Number two pencils, fresh notebooks, fancy pens.... be still me heart! 

3. Sweet Tea- since moving to the north there's only so many places that have real, tasty sweet tea!

4. New underwear, it's silly but I get so excited about them. 

5. Target! Need I say more...

6. Texts from the Man. Even if its something simple like, remind me to show you something. Its just makes me feel good that's he's thinking of me.

7. That post- workout feeling. I love the endorphin high after a good run or sweat fest.

8. The day after report cards are due. It's one of those deadlines that you know are coming but when you're chasing down kids to collect assignments that they should have had in and you've reminded them repeatedly so they won't get a zero. I love clicking that final "Send" button.

9. Venti Caramel skinny macchiato- YUM! 

10. Fresh laundry- the warmth right out the dryer and the smell just makes you want to cuddle right in.

Day Catch-Up

I thought I had my posts set to post of the right day.... I was wrong! Here are some of the days. I'm not going to post them all. 


Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you're most afraid of

I could be girly and say something like snakes. I really do hate them. But an animal I really, really dislike- deer.

Deer freak me out! Not kidding here, the way they stare, just bothers me so much. I get tense even driving by them, live ones of course. I don't remember being afraid of them when I was little, its something that has built over time especially since I've spent more time out in the country with the Man. He, by the way, thinks its completely ridiculous and gets a good laugh out of it. 

Day 9, Thursday: A moment in your day (this can be just a photo o
 both a photo and words)

My most favorite time of day occurs only on the weekends now or snow days. I'm counting down the days until summer to get more of this in. 

My cuddle time with this guy is the BEST! Tucker is "too old to cuddle", it's more like he doesn't want to sit still during the day long enough, so this little guy and I get to snuggle up for nap time.  I know I wont get this time forever so I'm soaking it all up!


Day 12, Sunday: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...) Not going to lie, some days I miss my Ol' Kentucky Home.

I miss the people. I miss the slow, more relaxed pace that people tend to follow. I miss the friendliness, and southern hospitality. I miss the sweet tea. I miss being around for the Derby and Thunder Over Louisville. I love my life her in the north, and everything I've been blessed with, but every now and then and little piece of the south makes me homesick. 

Day 13, Monday: Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.
I'm sorry for all the doubt. I'm saying this to myself. I'm sorry for not feeling like a stronger person. I'm sorry for not standing up for myself, my team mates, or my students at school. I'm sorry for not sitting down with the boys and giving them the one on one attention they deserve. I'm sorry for not giving the Man the time he needs. I'm sorry for going on, and on, and on about my day because it just makes me feel so much better once it's all out. I'm sorry about worrying so much about what others think. I'm sorry for holding things back because I worry about others reactions. 
I'm not sorry for realizing this and knowing that it may or may not ever change. 

Day 6

If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you anawer the question 'what would you say you do'?

I love my boys! I spend every spare moment with them, thinking about them, thinking about things for them, things they've been through, what they'll go through, what they've been through.

I do laundry, dishes, clean the bathrooms, and more.

I read, when I can.

Every year I fill my heart with almost 100 new kids that I would put my life on the line for.

I like to create, either at home, at school, with others, or on my own.

I do a lot, but sometimes I don't do anything and that makes me just as happy!