About Me

My photo
I'm a mid twenties girl. Who has the cutest two boys ever. I'm married to the best hubby ever (aka the Man). I'm also a teacher of sixth grade with a masters degree in Education. I'd rather be busy than bored. I love things bright and beautiful and my family means the world to me.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

The ups and downs

So I haven't blogged in a while. Its been a little bit of writers block but more of avoidance. We've been pretty busy with the move and all but I feel like we're settled in. I'm figuring out some decent running routes around the neighborhood which is made of all hills it seems. My shins have really started to bother me this week and I wonder if its lack of water, not stretching, or just going down the hills. Any ideas runners out there?

This weekend I had a nice break through/ break down. I am totally one of those people that just keep it all inside. I bottle emotions up better than anyone I know. Little things kept adding up to bigger feelings. I really was getting down on myself. To the point that Thursday night I really just didn't want to talk to the Man. By Saturday I felt just sick, not flu sick, but heart sick. This huge weight got to be too much. While trying to move in our new washer that we had to buy I took a break and broke down.

It was the stupidest thing really, we're in the middle of trying to lift the HEAVIEST washer built EVER and we just weren't going anywhere. Finally the Man said to put it down and he'd call someone to come over(we later got it in the house). I went inside started picking up some things and the tears just kinda started. Luckily, the Man is really good at picking up of moments like these (they don't happen that often I swear), could also be the sniffling that he heard and came to check. He asked what was up and the dam broke loose.

I've been aggressively looking at teaching positions in other schools. We're state testing so the kids are super off and the scheduling is never organized, learning to run my own house, dealing with a washer that won't wash, trying to settle in, picking up a couple more small shifts at Gap, Tucker's in soccer one day a week, and the regular things that everyone worries about.

To say that I'm still thinking about baby #2 is an understatement. It's spring and I feel that there are new babies or new pregnancies surrounding us. Our friends that we used to be super close with are now expecting. We were pregnant together and our kids are six weeks apart. We just started seeing them more now that the kids are signed up for soccer together. I literally felt like I was punched in the stomach after finding out. I walked around with this feeling that I've been working my tail off for the last five years with school, my Masters, and teaching to be prepared for our next one when Tucker is 5, which is this November. I had honestly convinced myself for about the last four years that come this December we'd be trying for our next. But the Man says we won't be where we need to be by then. He's thinking at least two more years- an eternity to me.

So we talked and I got some stuff out, I felt a lot better yesterday. We went grocery shopping, did some laundry, and it seemed better. I'm hoping now that spring is here we'll get out more, I'll get back into a running routine, we'll start moving around more outside and I'll feel stronger on the inside. Until then, who knows?

Tomorrow, I have my top 10 favorite items as of late.

No comments: